crazy love

our journey team is beginning a five week look at the new francis chan book "crazy love". chan has produced a 10 week study dvd that we are going to condense into five weeks leading into the easter celebration. my take on the essence of the book is how do we receive this crazy love our Maker has for us and what do we do with it. it asks us to look at some real questions about our perception of God and our motivations for serving Him. i ask myself the question, "how much is in my love tank for God and what am i willing to do to really know that love"? what is my motivation for wanting to seek Him? am i looking to get something out of it only for myself? do i want some sort of credit for "following Jesus"? is there any sort of "what's in it for me" thought pattern. i think that when there are traces of self in it, it ain't gonna happen like you think. so i am asking this question of myself over and over, "what am i looking for"? i come back to the same answer. really all God asks of us is to love Him and to love one another. pretty simple don't you think? not really! what could be harder than learning to love someone or something you don't like? if we focused on just those two things all of our lives this world would be the place God created it to be. and don't we owe Him that? how much of a life would we have without Him? now there is a big "but" in all of this. i would, BUT, i don't/can't..... i can find many excuses why i don't follow Him. why i don't fully and completely give all of me to Him. some of it lies in my inability to really know Him. i have read some of the bible and i have read some books but i still ask the question, "how do i really love someone or something that i can not physically see, hear or touch"? i can make the statement, "i love Jesus" but do i really? and there is no reason to try to fake it or con yourself - He knows our hearts better than we do. so for me it's time to cut the crap and truly find some crazy love for Him! this is gonna be wild, hang on!